Hi Karen, I enjoyed reading your post. I've briefly tried to build intentional community myself and can only imagine what it feels like for you guys...
I think the reason why it's so hard to build a village is not just bc we live in a sick society. There are many many reasons.... A deeper question, for me, is: why did we create this society in the first place, which part of us, what can we learn from that? A society which is sick in many ways, yes, i agree. I just moved to the city again and feel the alienation in the air. the main messages being communicated: consume consume consume, make money, change yourself, you are not good enough as you are...
And that same society, with all its flaws, so big we are now approaching (i think) its collapse, also provided us with levels of comfort our ancestors could'nt dream of.... i cannot imagine myself independently from this society: i grew up with cars, tv, phones, the internet, takeaway food, nuclear family... My whole personality was formed within this society...
What if we separated from nature in the first place bc we felt so powerless, so small, bc life was tough...? What if this too is part of some larger unfolding that was meant to happen?
I have this insight when there's some sort of accident. Someone is injured from a car accident in the highway. Again, with all its flaws, we also built a society that is capable of offering a solution to that: ambulance, public hospitals (in europe), people who care and call the emergency number....
And what about hero's journeys? the more i live, the more i believe we all come here with specific vocations. there's values we can't help but embody. work we feel called to do. is it really accurate to ignore these vocations to pursue what some of us find more virtuous missions of building villages? how can we know? how can we discern between our individualistic conditionings and genuine callings, when we grow up in the west?
On another note, what do you mean by "when their capacity for consciousness increases"? i think more people don't found villages or other projects, not necessarily because their consciousness lacks that capacity, but often because of structural inequality, lack of privilege.... or, again, because its not their vocation.
I also dont think its possible to create societies without power dynamics. even if everyone earns the same, some people are naturally more intelligent than others, more proactive, more beautiful whatever the beauty standards are in that tribe, etc. I don't think the goal should even be to extinguish power dynamics, only to be more aware of them, and honest, responsible and accountable for the power we do hold.
I agree with you that many "followers" are envious of founders and that is no fun position to be in. I also think many of us too often give our power away to leaders, founders, gurus. I think this is part of the problem. that is what our system has taught us too...
I read a helpful article from the wiser Parker Palmer about community, power, etc. He challenges the very idea of attempting to build community:
Last thing, I tend to think that most founders or leaders are, consciously or unconsciously, attracted to power. I observe that attraction in myself as a leader. I think one needs to get some sort of satisfaction out of leadership, otherwise the cost would be too high... I don't think all power is bad.... i think its more about empowering one other, and knowing when to be in power, and when to step back.
Some questions for founders in my mind: How would you like to be supported by those around you? What are your own shadows? Where are you not fully in integrity? When is your power at the service of others, when is it not? How could others grow more into their own power?
Thank you for writing out this thoughtful and compassionate response! It feels like you worded something I keep feeling whenever someone starts talking about starting a village or a community from scratch, but couldn’t word it.
Perhaps another reason why communities that are being created as a «product» fail is that they are not reflecting the organically rising will and the need of the people. An organic community for example is a family that gathers together regularly, people who already live in the same building or neighbourhood, people who work at the same place… people who, by the complex currents of life, have been pulled together. People who are attached together with more than a single decision to join an artificial community.
I firmly believe that the thing that will heal our so called sick society is not to try to pull visionary and community-seeking people out of it to place them in artificial villages. But to channel the immense effort required to create such societies from scratch into establishing connections locally, with your neighbours, with the shop owners in your neighbourhood, with your existing colleagues and your family.
I resonate, Su. At the same time I believe that again we all have different callings… some people are genuinely called to intentional community and that is beautiful and needed to. It’s just not the only way, and to think that such way is superior or the magic solution is not helping anyone…
Thanx for that short but deep response. Leaders, followers, gurus, power attraction of various sorts etc. Ego sets so many traps cleverly justifying their existence so they appear noble, generous etc (whichever suits present moment / state of the mind). I got myself some of above doubts and insights... Yet still less true and lasting outcomes as I go along...
I believe many of us have seen this at play, in different shapes, forms and places:
"Throughout my community exploration years I’ve seen repeated patterns of founders being truly worn down by the journey. Regardless of their approach and their personality, there is a kind of heartbreak that can be witnessed.
Feeling the weight of the responsibility, often being misjudged and projected upon, often feeling unsupported or undervalued, often drained from having the same conversations over and over again."
I'd be curious to hear and read more about how you are 'preventing' this at NEOS, how you keep on expanding your capacity as founders, and what type of support you'd truly need, and desire.
Not as an expectation for this to be answered, just a desire to follow this journey more deeply
Hi Karen, I enjoyed reading your post. I've briefly tried to build intentional community myself and can only imagine what it feels like for you guys...
I think the reason why it's so hard to build a village is not just bc we live in a sick society. There are many many reasons.... A deeper question, for me, is: why did we create this society in the first place, which part of us, what can we learn from that? A society which is sick in many ways, yes, i agree. I just moved to the city again and feel the alienation in the air. the main messages being communicated: consume consume consume, make money, change yourself, you are not good enough as you are...
And that same society, with all its flaws, so big we are now approaching (i think) its collapse, also provided us with levels of comfort our ancestors could'nt dream of.... i cannot imagine myself independently from this society: i grew up with cars, tv, phones, the internet, takeaway food, nuclear family... My whole personality was formed within this society...
What if we separated from nature in the first place bc we felt so powerless, so small, bc life was tough...? What if this too is part of some larger unfolding that was meant to happen?
I have this insight when there's some sort of accident. Someone is injured from a car accident in the highway. Again, with all its flaws, we also built a society that is capable of offering a solution to that: ambulance, public hospitals (in europe), people who care and call the emergency number....
And what about hero's journeys? the more i live, the more i believe we all come here with specific vocations. there's values we can't help but embody. work we feel called to do. is it really accurate to ignore these vocations to pursue what some of us find more virtuous missions of building villages? how can we know? how can we discern between our individualistic conditionings and genuine callings, when we grow up in the west?
On another note, what do you mean by "when their capacity for consciousness increases"? i think more people don't found villages or other projects, not necessarily because their consciousness lacks that capacity, but often because of structural inequality, lack of privilege.... or, again, because its not their vocation.
I also dont think its possible to create societies without power dynamics. even if everyone earns the same, some people are naturally more intelligent than others, more proactive, more beautiful whatever the beauty standards are in that tribe, etc. I don't think the goal should even be to extinguish power dynamics, only to be more aware of them, and honest, responsible and accountable for the power we do hold.
I agree with you that many "followers" are envious of founders and that is no fun position to be in. I also think many of us too often give our power away to leaders, founders, gurus. I think this is part of the problem. that is what our system has taught us too...
I read a helpful article from the wiser Parker Palmer about community, power, etc. He challenges the very idea of attempting to build community:
"When we treat community as a product that we must manufacture instead of a gift we have been given, it will elude us eternally. " https://couragerenewal.org/library/thirteen-ways-of-looking-at-community/
Last thing, I tend to think that most founders or leaders are, consciously or unconsciously, attracted to power. I observe that attraction in myself as a leader. I think one needs to get some sort of satisfaction out of leadership, otherwise the cost would be too high... I don't think all power is bad.... i think its more about empowering one other, and knowing when to be in power, and when to step back.
Some questions for founders in my mind: How would you like to be supported by those around you? What are your own shadows? Where are you not fully in integrity? When is your power at the service of others, when is it not? How could others grow more into their own power?
Thank you for writing out this thoughtful and compassionate response! It feels like you worded something I keep feeling whenever someone starts talking about starting a village or a community from scratch, but couldn’t word it.
Perhaps another reason why communities that are being created as a «product» fail is that they are not reflecting the organically rising will and the need of the people. An organic community for example is a family that gathers together regularly, people who already live in the same building or neighbourhood, people who work at the same place… people who, by the complex currents of life, have been pulled together. People who are attached together with more than a single decision to join an artificial community.
I firmly believe that the thing that will heal our so called sick society is not to try to pull visionary and community-seeking people out of it to place them in artificial villages. But to channel the immense effort required to create such societies from scratch into establishing connections locally, with your neighbours, with the shop owners in your neighbourhood, with your existing colleagues and your family.
I resonate, Su. At the same time I believe that again we all have different callings… some people are genuinely called to intentional community and that is beautiful and needed to. It’s just not the only way, and to think that such way is superior or the magic solution is not helping anyone…
Thanx for that short but deep response. Leaders, followers, gurus, power attraction of various sorts etc. Ego sets so many traps cleverly justifying their existence so they appear noble, generous etc (whichever suits present moment / state of the mind). I got myself some of above doubts and insights... Yet still less true and lasting outcomes as I go along...
I believe many of us have seen this at play, in different shapes, forms and places:
"Throughout my community exploration years I’ve seen repeated patterns of founders being truly worn down by the journey. Regardless of their approach and their personality, there is a kind of heartbreak that can be witnessed.
Feeling the weight of the responsibility, often being misjudged and projected upon, often feeling unsupported or undervalued, often drained from having the same conversations over and over again."
I'd be curious to hear and read more about how you are 'preventing' this at NEOS, how you keep on expanding your capacity as founders, and what type of support you'd truly need, and desire.
Not as an expectation for this to be answered, just a desire to follow this journey more deeply
;-).
much Love!